Oh, hi there. I was just…uh…poking these germs with a stick. I was saving them to eat for lunch later. They look dead. But what if they’re faking? What if they escape when I’m not looking? And then I have no lunch and I’m hungry. Are they dead? I hate not knowing. Maybe I’ll stab them some more and kill them again just to be on the safe side. Did I mention that I like to kill stuff? There are germs out there that must be destroyed! SLUUUUURP! Oh? Could you hear that? I got thirsty and just needed a sip of water. My siblings tell me I drink loudly. They’re crazy. I’m quiet as a mouse.

I’m also calculating. I’ve seen my siblings develop runny noses and itchy ears. All from chasing after germs without a plan. So, I’m a bit cynical at the thought of not having a plan. I watch…and wait…and listen. I’m super cunning and I set up traps made from random stuff I find lying around. Like Styrofoam peanuts that you can’t shake off. A germ gets distracted trying to shake off the peanuts and that’s when I strike! Or take a nap? It depends on my mood. Armed with an insatiable appetite, I have a habit of tasting everything in sight. And spitting up half of it.

So, I’m an expert when it comes to poison. I love ice cream and cookies. And that one germ, Eze De Sneeze, who is squishy with crunchy bits. Nom nom! Smart and creative, I can convert any random object into what I need. In my paws, a tree branch is a pirate sword for stabbing germs. Or an arrow to shoot them. You can see I’m no ordinary cat. I’m a hero. A hero that can become invincible when I eat salty licorice. It’s soooo salty. As I was saying…I’m a hero determined to slaughter every germ I see!